First I want to start of by saying that I never knew social media will help me through this journey. Before I started my first round of IVF I was on my personal instagram (IG) and decided to search IVF. In there I saw myself in the life of other women going through IVF and those who got their miracle baby(ies) through IVF. I became more and more curious so one day I decided to give it a shot and created another instagram (ig) account for my TTC (trying to conceive) and IVF journey. I still remember my first followers and those who I started following. One of them was a beautiful woman that if you also have an IG account and know me through my IVF account, you probably know her. Her name is Cely, and she helped me by spreading my IG name on her account. Through Cely I connected with many other women dealing with IVF and one of them was Charity from TheWordOfANerd. Charity was one of the many women that guided me and helped me through my IVF. Charity along with many other beautiful women, have, for both, rounds 1 and 2 of my IVF journey, donated meds since we all know how expensive IVF can be. I am so thankful to every sister I have through IG.
Ok, now I will start from the moment my husband and I did our first round of IVF. As every first IVFer, we both thought that it would work right away for us. We met with our RE and everything seemed perfect and we were confident on what was to come. I stimmed for about 9 days and did 2 trigger shots. The day of retrieval I was a nervous wreck but excited because that meant that my husband and I would be right where we wanted to be a year ago, closer to having our miracle baby. Right after the retrieval, the doctor who performed the retrieval came in and had the number 11 written down on a clipboard. With a blurry vision from the anesthesia I asked the doctor "What is that?" She said, "We got 11 eggs out!" Instead of happy tears I cried tears of sadness. I knew that I would have to wait and see how many of those 11 eggs were mature, how many of those mature would fertilize, and how many of those that fertilize make it to day 5.
The next day after retrieval we got the call. Out of the 11 eggs , only 7 were mature and out of the 7 mature eggs only 2 fertilized normal. I was devastated but I kept my faith and prayed that one or both of those embryos would become my miracle baby. On day 5 my husband and I were waiting for one of the most important phone calls of our lives to see if one or both or none of our embryos made it to day 5 and PGD tested. They both made it and we were ecstatic after the daily prayers for our beautiful embryos. Since they were PGD tested we would have to transfer both embryos on our next cycle which meant we would have to freeze them. There came another worry, from all the research I have done I know that embryos can "die" while being frozen. The next day during work hours I received the call that both embryos were frozen!
My husband and I waited patiently but oh so excited for the next cycle because our two beautiful embryos will make their selves comfy in my womb and make it their home for the next 9 months. The day we have been waiting for finally came and it was transfer day! But here came a new worry, will my embabies survive the de-freezing method? They both did! My husband and I couldn't just let that go and we saw it as a sign from God that this was it and that we could possible be holding one or two babies in less than 9 months! The embabies made it home and here came the dreaded 2WW (2 week wait before beta: blood pregnancy test). We survived the 2WW without taking an HPT and we were finally pregnant!
Wow! Where do I begin!? It is so hard to start a blog because there is just too much to write about. Many of you might know me as Gigi_Faith_N_IVF from Instagram.
We were over the moon! To think that our prayers were answered and we were finally expecting our beautiful miracle! I went in to my doctor for another beta and things were looking good and I was told to come back the following week for my first ultrasound! My husband and I went to the morning off to go to our appointment and celebrate with a good, healthy breakfast. With this ultrasound we were going to see one or two babies! Here came the day, we got called in to the room and I did what I had to do to get ready for the pelvic ultrasound. The doctor came in and started with the ultrasound. Now, I know how the ultrasound should have looked at 5 weeks pregnant and I know a face of disappointment when I see one. There it was, my womb, and just that, no baby, just my empty womb. I looked straight to the doctor and see her expression, she first asks, "have you experienced any bleeding?" Nervously I answered "No." She said that I have either an ectopic pregnancy or have miscarried. My life ended, my world ended. Holding my husbands hand I look up at him and saw his tears which made me feel like another stab to the heart.
My husband although not in the mood had to go in to work. I called out of work from my clinics parking lot. I was crying with every step I made to my car. My husband didn't want me to drive but I told him I need the time to be alone. I got in my car and I don't even know how I made it to my house safe. Driving in the highway I had thoughts of just crashing to the divider that separated both North and South of the highway. I didn't want to live anymore. Throughout this entire journey I connected with God like I never have before. And I felt let down, lied to. I felt anger, anger towards God because he took my baby away. My womb was filled with life, and then the next second it was empty. I was pregnant, I had a baby in there that was going to call me mommy, I am a mom. I am now a mom to an angel baby Girl.
I am still not finished with my introduction and first blog, but I have decided to post this one and make it public. I do not want to make my blogs too long and writing those last 2 paragraphs were just too hard and I need a break. Thank you for taking your time and reading my blog.
<3 Always Gigi
My husband although not in the mood had to go in to work. I called out of work from my clinics parking lot. I was crying with every step I made to my car. My husband didn't want me to drive but I told him I need the time to be alone. I got in my car and I don't even know how I made it to my house safe. Driving in the highway I had thoughts of just crashing to the divider that separated both North and South of the highway. I didn't want to live anymore. Throughout this entire journey I connected with God like I never have before. And I felt let down, lied to. I felt anger, anger towards God because he took my baby away. My womb was filled with life, and then the next second it was empty. I was pregnant, I had a baby in there that was going to call me mommy, I am a mom. I am now a mom to an angel baby Girl.
I am still not finished with my introduction and first blog, but I have decided to post this one and make it public. I do not want to make my blogs too long and writing those last 2 paragraphs were just too hard and I need a break. Thank you for taking your time and reading my blog.
<3 Always Gigi