This week I finally had the courage to write in the journal where I am writing letters for my children. In one of my previous blogs I wrote about this and this was the first time since my miscarriage in May of 2014 where I was able to not just open the journal and read some of the letters but I was also able to write a letter. An do you know what the most surprising thing was? I did not cry. I wrote with happiness and with the faith that I will give this book to a child of my own some day.
This week I also received my IVF protocol for my 3rd and final round that will hopefully be starting on Valentines Day, how romantic is that <3
I will be on the following medications and doses: Lupron Mixture in the AM and PM 20 units, Follistim is 450, Low Dose HCG at 15, and HGH (Human Growth Hormone) with a dose of 8 starting on cycle day 8. I am not going to lie that after seeing the amount I'll be doing I got very scared, stressed out, and even cried. For example, with Follistim my first round it was 150 and then upped to 175 towards the end. On my second round Follistim was 300 all the way till retrieval, and now we are starting it at 450. I was afraid of how I will react to the meds and how I will feel after retrieval because if you can recall by reading one of my previous blogs, in my last retrieval I was in excruciating pain. I remember just crying and telling my husband that I didn't want to go through that again, I didn't want to go through another round and feel that much pain. But here I am, 5 months later, and about to start my 3rd round.
This morning while googling my IVF protocol which is the MicroFlare Protocol I found this: "This (the microflare protocol) is considered to be the most potent IVF protocol available and the last resort before donor egg IVF." Scary huh
I am holding on to my FAITH so tight and I decided to let go of my fears and the control that I wish to have but know that I don't nor do the doctors. I have decided that this child of mine will be my miracle given by God so therefore he/she/or they will belong to Him just as I now belong to him.
Next week was supposed to be my due date. The birth day of my baby girl. My children will have an angel watching over them because that is what my daughter became, my angel, our angel. I will always wonder what she would have looked like, what her personality would have been like, and I will always wonder why. Those are answers that I will never get but know that things always happen for a reason and things always happen for the good although at times it may not look it.
I will try to update my blog before my next round starts and would also like to blog about how I feel while stimming and using HGH since there is not much info about it out there in the internet world.
I
hope that in some way I help other women dealing with infertility and IVF.
Thank you for taking your time and reading my blog
XOXO
Gigi
"GOD OFTEN USES OUR DEEPEST PAIN AS THE LAUNCHING PAD OF OUR GREATEST CALLING"
This week I also received my IVF protocol for my 3rd and final round that will hopefully be starting on Valentines Day, how romantic is that <3
I will be on the following medications and doses: Lupron Mixture in the AM and PM 20 units, Follistim is 450, Low Dose HCG at 15, and HGH (Human Growth Hormone) with a dose of 8 starting on cycle day 8. I am not going to lie that after seeing the amount I'll be doing I got very scared, stressed out, and even cried. For example, with Follistim my first round it was 150 and then upped to 175 towards the end. On my second round Follistim was 300 all the way till retrieval, and now we are starting it at 450. I was afraid of how I will react to the meds and how I will feel after retrieval because if you can recall by reading one of my previous blogs, in my last retrieval I was in excruciating pain. I remember just crying and telling my husband that I didn't want to go through that again, I didn't want to go through another round and feel that much pain. But here I am, 5 months later, and about to start my 3rd round.
This morning while googling my IVF protocol which is the MicroFlare Protocol I found this: "This (the microflare protocol) is considered to be the most potent IVF protocol available and the last resort before donor egg IVF." Scary huh
I am holding on to my FAITH so tight and I decided to let go of my fears and the control that I wish to have but know that I don't nor do the doctors. I have decided that this child of mine will be my miracle given by God so therefore he/she/or they will belong to Him just as I now belong to him.
Next week was supposed to be my due date. The birth day of my baby girl. My children will have an angel watching over them because that is what my daughter became, my angel, our angel. I will always wonder what she would have looked like, what her personality would have been like, and I will always wonder why. Those are answers that I will never get but know that things always happen for a reason and things always happen for the good although at times it may not look it.
I will try to update my blog before my next round starts and would also like to blog about how I feel while stimming and using HGH since there is not much info about it out there in the internet world.
I
hope that in some way I help other women dealing with infertility and IVF.
Thank you for taking your time and reading my blog
XOXO
Gigi
"GOD OFTEN USES OUR DEEPEST PAIN AS THE LAUNCHING PAD OF OUR GREATEST CALLING"